Sunday Morning Surf Session

Marconi Beach – Wellfleet, MA

The view from the parking lot – can’t see what’s waiting

Dune flower

Dunes from the bottom – lots of erosion

Waves rolling in

Dunes from the top

Dune flowers

Dune flowers

The spider waiting outside the ladies room

Dunes are dangerous

Checking the surf

Toes in the sand

Gloves are still necessary as the water is only about 50 degrees

Miles of beach

Moving into the lineup

 

Spring

Summer-like warmth envelopes
Me like a mother’s love,
Willing growth to occur.

Daffodils, crocuses, tulips,
Bloom.  Hostas and day lilies
Push through the earth,

Bringing color back to
the Dull and brown.
Life begins anew.

Not the Bee’s Knees

I’ve resisted writing this post for almost 3 months now, but since some want to know more about how I am/what I am doing, I now feel compelled to do so.

Let me start by saying this:

Being unemployed…sucks.

There, I said it. There really isn’t an eloquent way of saying it, at least for me there’s not, so please pardon any vulgarity you may find in that statement. If I were in the 6th grade, I would have just earned myself detention.

While I prefer not to get into the details, I was terminated without cause in January, something that has left me questioning much about myself, my work ethic, my abilities, and my principles. I still do not understand what happened and have spent way too much time trying to figure it out. The overall consensus though, is that I’m better off, that I needed to get out of there anyway.

No, I needed the job.

I’ve now had almost three months to contemplate my navel. I’ve had three months to determine what my next move is. I’ve had three months to figure out what my problem is. I’ve had two interviews, but no second interviews. I think I’ve actually applied to five or six jobs. About half of the jobs posted where I live require some sort of medical certification. Another 40% are service industry jobs that I cannot afford to work. The daily exercise of checking the job postings has become tedious and frustrating. Needless to say, I’m finding my Bachelors Degree in English is not serving me in the least. I wish I’d had the sense enough to listen to what I’m sure people were trying to tell me in college. Just graduating isn’t enough.

But my degree isn’t really to blame. My actions (or inactions) are. To blame for what, you ask? The current state I’m living in. Or, really, surviving in.

I’ve come to realize that I’m really good at complaining. I’m really good at listing all the reasons and ways in which I’ve been wronged. I’m really good at generating pity parties. I’m really good at making people believe that I need help fixing me, that I need help fixing my “situation.” I could complain until the cows come home and do so gladly. I get something from it (I suspect it’s just the attention). And I’ve become really good at making people (and myself) believe that I’m ready for change.

Let me come clean here: it’s all an act. I really am full of shit. I’m lazy and have no intention of actually doing anything to change my situation. I’m happy being miserable. I’m happy just surviving.

Now anyone who knows me knows that the above statements are only half truths. True, I get something out of my inaction (to be miserable, though I haven’t quite figured out why it’s so appealing to me). But being a survivor doesn’t have to be a dirty word. In most instances, it’s not.

I could sit here and give examples of my laziness (talking about wanting to learn programming languages for years only to finally get started and quit after one study session – yep, real serious about that one), but I suspect that my view is skewed by my inability to pull my head out of the sand. I think it all comes back to commitment. What am I truly committed to?

When I decided that I was coming off all medication, something clicked and it became REALLY easy to get out of bed most mornings at 430 AM to get to the gym. I’ve been saying it since I started: once you’ve become truly committed to something, it becomes easy. I won’t say effortless, but it is easy. I’m also starting to realize that the kick in the pants doesn’t work when it comes from external sources. If I can’t kick my own ass into gear, then I’m wasting everyone’s time.

I honestly have no idea what I’m going to do about work. There’s a part of me that believes that I’m just not cut out for corporate work. I’m too honest and I have a really hard time with the almighty dollar coming before the needs of the client/customer. But I’ve come to the realization that I’m just going to have to suck it up and learn to keep my mouth shut. I know it’s considered immature to be an idealist, but I cling to the belief that if you don’t love your job then you shouldn’t be doing it. Silly me, I thought life affirming work grew on trees and was there for the taking. Now I find out that I’m going to have to make something happen for myself. Oh, the horror…

So I’m doing all the things I’m supposed to do: going to job fairs, becoming a member of a career center, attending resumé writing and interview workshops. All I really want to do is feed people. But I know there’s no money in working in a soup kitchen…

So there it is, the cold, hard, and ugly truth of where I am. Now, seriously, can we stop talking about it? Because I really don’t want to talk about it anymore. Really.

Making the Transition – Part 3

Today we’ll focus on something I’m admittedly new at: sourcing ingredients.

I’ll be honest – if I can’t find an ingredient locally, I either look for an alternative or I don’t make the recipe at all.  This is one of the reasons I love Donna Klein’s books.  There are no funky, hard to find ingredients, with one exception: tamarind.  But I know how to sub for that, so it’s never been a deal breaker for me.  And just because I can’t find it locally doesn’t mean you can’t find it in metropolitan areas…or even downtown Hartford.

But now I’m starting to branch out.  I’m wanting to make more complicated ethnic dishes and while the ingredients aren’t really funky, they can be hard to find for me.  So here’s how I find shelf-stable ingredients:

1. Check the ethnic isles in your major grocery stores.  Sometimes it’s quite surprising what they actually carry.  Then check discount stores.  I can get chili garlic sauce at The Christmas Tree Shop and they also carry lots of Italian ingredients.  If you have access to a natural food store, check there as well.  These stores also usually have bulk bins so you can try ingredients without committing to huge quantities (something I should have done with the nutritional yeast I bought…)
2. Check Amazon.  I’ve been able to find tamarind paste and asefetida there with ease.  You can also get lots of the specialty grains like spelt & millet from major brands such as Bob’s Red Mill.
3. If you’re looking for something produced by a specific brand, check their website.  Two that I know offer mail order service are Amy’s and Bob’s Red Mill (but only because I’ve checked for something I couldn’t find locally).
4. If all else fails, Google it.  Or Bing it, if that’s your preferred search engine.  Both have the capability to search for shopping results.

I’ve also got two more recipe sources for you, one that I just forgot about and the other I’m new to: Whole Foods and Punchfork. Whole Foods has a great search tool and have partnered with Caldwell B. Esselstyn, Jr., MD and T. Colin Campbell, PhD from Forks Over Knives, among other leading experts, on their Health Starts Here program.  Punchfork is more of a visual board of currently trending recipes from multiple sources.  You can set it to Vegan and watch all the beautiful and yummy looking photos pop up.  It’s a dangerous way to waste time…

What am I missing?  What are your biggest hurdles (that I might be able to help with – only you can give yourself time) to making healthy changes to your diet?

Making the Transition – Part 2

Today I’ll focus on resources for information on living a plant-based lifestyle, specifically with regard to what to feed yourself.

There are lots of reason to follow a plant-based lifestyle, but I’m focused on my health.  Yes, I believe factory farming should be outlawed due to the inhumanity AND the effect it has on those who consume those animals.  Yes, I agree that animals have feelings too.  But I’m not doing this for ethical reasons.  I’m doing this because it’s what’s best for my health. Frankly, I find it a lot harder for someone to argue with you when you tell them you don’t eat meat for health reasons.

I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at recipes and trying to decide what I want to make.  I’m one of those people who really don’t eat the same 10 things…I’m constantly looking for something new.  Below, you’ll find where I look for recipes as well as some of my favorite cookbooks, the ones I always go back to.

Websites:

• Vegetarian Times – Some of the recipes here can be hit or miss.  Pay attention to the reviews, but more than that, as you become accustomed to vegetarian and vegan cooking, you’ll be able to tell by the ingredients whether or not it’s something you’ll like.  Personally, I stay away from EVERYTHING that contains fennel.  So not a fan.
• Fine Cooking – They have a whole section for meatless cooking.  I’ve only had one recipe not be spectacular from them.
• Food & Wine – This site has excellent search capabilities.  There might have been one or two recipes that I’ve made from them that wasn’t great.
• Cookstr – This is essentially a site that collects recipes directly from cookbooks.  There are lots of vegetarian recipes on this site.
• Eating Well – There aren’t as many vegetarian and vegan recipes here, but if you have specific goals as far as your waistline is concerned, this is a good resource.
• Whole Living/Everyday Food/Martha Stewart Living – There are some great looking recipes on these sites.  My only complaint is that they don’t seem to add NEW recipes to their vegetarian and vegan sections very often.

Cookbooks

• The Tropical Vegan Kitchen by Donna Klein – All four of these books by Donna Klein are really my go-to cookbooks.  I return to them repeatedly.  What I love about them is the complete lack of faux-meats and cheeses.  The emphasis is on foods that already exist in the cuisine without meat or cheese.  If you find you’re having meat or cheese cravings, these will help you through.
• Vegan Italiano by Donna Klein
• The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen by Donna Klein
• Supermarket Vegan by Donna Klein
• How to Cook Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman – This book, like Bittman’s other How to Cook books, is an excellent resource for new things you don’t know how to cook.  Don’t know what to do with barley?  It’s in there.  Want to make your own seitan?  That’s in there too.  There are sauces, different types of veggies…it’s just great.  I use it like a dictionary or encyclopedia.
• The Conscious Cook by Tal Ronnen – If you like to entertain, this is your book.  It’s beautifully laid out with great directions.

Consider signing up for the site newsletters for the websites and borrowing the books from the library before you buy them.  The newsletters are great for putting new recipes in your inbox on a daily or weekly basis, some you might overlook in a search but like.  And there’s nothing worse than purchasing a cookbook based on a suggestion only to find that it doesn’t suit your needs or tastes.